||No one ever ever ever thought to call ME
||I would never have the bad taste to be an over-achiever.
||I found God, Clinton didn't even know He was lost.
||President Bush was a better father than that dead guy.
||Barbara Bush was a better mother than that flighty
anesthetist who actually killed two people.
||I haven't spent my life striving for the Presidency,
it's supposed to be mine for the asking.
||I have two daughters who are still virgins, and their
godfather is Willie Horton.
||His brother was a drug addict, mine looted an S&L.
||I never raped anyone when I was sober.
||I was sure it was just confectioner's sugar.