DENNIS SCHWARTZ 
IS THERE ANY GOOD 
IN SAYING 
EVERYTHING ABOUT A MOVIE?

 
TERRORVISION (director/writer: Ted Nicolaou; cinematographer: Romano Albani; editor: Thomas Meshelski; music: Richard Band; cast:  Diane Franklin (Suzy), Mary Woronov (Raquel), Gerrit Graham (Stanley), Chad Allen (Sherman), Jonathan Gries (OD), Bert Remsen (Grampa), Alejandro Rey (Spiro), Randi Brooks (Cherry), Sonny Carl Davis (Norton), Ian Patrick Williams (Nutky), Jennifer Richards (Medusa), William Paulson (Pluthar); Runtime: 83; MPAA Rating: R; producer: Albert Band; Lightning Video; 1986)

 
"The trashy film is made for those who like bad films."

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

Unfunny sci-fi spoof. Hack filmmaker Ted Nicolaou ("The Etruscan Mask"/"Dragonworld") writes and directs this silly worthless B-film venture. The trashy film is made for those who like bad films.

Suburban dwork, family man and wife swapping swinger Stan Putterman (Gerrit Graham) installs a new satellite dish and bumbles the task. As a result the dish picks up a transmission that causes a slimy alien, with several rotating eyes, to emerge from the tv set. The three feet by five creature is a mutated household pet from the planet Pluton. It eats everything it can grab and when it outgrows its size, it starts dining on the Puttermans. The family includes the swinging mom (Mary Woronov), the young wide-eyed neurotic boy (Chad Allen), the Cyndi Lauper lookalike teen sister (Diane Franklin) and, gramps (Bert Remsen), the crazed armed-to-his-teeth survivalist nut, who dines on lizards' tail jerky.

The sit-com thinks it's funny just to show freaks and slimy creatures, and that its stupidity is a virtue. Despite the presence of cult/scream queens Mary Woronov and Randi Brooks (playing a swinger), there are no screams of terror or screams of  laughter.

REVIEWED ON 10/20/2009       GRADE: D

Dennis Schwartz: "Ozus' World Movie Reviews"

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