EVERYTHING ABOUT A MOVIE?
|SEX KITTENS GO TO COLLEGE (director: Albert Zugsmith; screenwriter: Robert Hill/story by Albert Zugsmith; cinematographer: Ellis Carter; editor: William Austin; music: Dean Elliott; cast: Mamie Van Doren (Dr. Mathilda West), Louis Nye (Dr. Zorch), Martin Milner (George Barton), Mickey Shaughnessy (Boomie), Conway Twitty (Himself), Vampira (Etta Toodie), Allan Drake (Legs Raffertino), Woo Woo Grabowski (Himself), Tuesday Weld (Jody), Mijanou Bardot (Suzanne), John Carradine (Prof. Watts), Irwin Berke (Prof. Towers), Pamela Mason (Dr. Myrtle Carter), Jackie Coogan (Wildcat MacPherson), Babe London (Miss Cadwallader), Eddie Deezen (Voice of Thinko) ; Runtime: 94; MPAA Rating: NR; producer: Albert Zugsmith; Allied Artists; 1960)|
very hard to be funny and weird, but settles only
by Dennis Schwartz
turned studio filmmaker and then indie exploitation
filmmaker Albert Zugsmith ("Confessions of an
Opium Eater"/"The Private Lives of Adam and
Eve"/"Violated!") wrote the story and directs this
awful sexploitation comedy. It tries very hard to be
funny and weird, but settles only for weird. Too bad
the great title only results in a crappy pic.
Collins College, Dr. Zorch (Louis Nye) operates the
school master computer Thinko (the Westinghouse robot
Elektro from the 1939 World's Fair) to
determine who gets the post as science department
head. The odd choice of the robot for the post is Dr. Mathilda West (Mamie Van Doren). She's a busty ex-stripper with
an IQ of 268, possessing thirteen degrees, with a
calling to be a hypnotist and with the ability to
speak fluently in 18 languages. She's approved
of by the college dean, Dr. Myrtle Carter (Pamela Mason), saying the computer
can't be wrong, though public relations director
George Barton (Marty Milner) is dubious until he sees
how attractive is the new professor. Dr. West arrives on campus
by train from her last gig, where the stripper was
known as The Tallahassee Tassel Tosser. Also showing
up are two gangsters (Allan Drake & Mickey Shaughnessy) interested in snatching
Thinko for its insights on horse racing wagering.
While West goes genius on
us and saves the school from disaster, subplots
abound. They include the one involving cheerleader
Jody (Tuesday Weld) chasing after Woo Woo Grabowski
(Norman Grabowski-real life hot rod designer), the football captain who
always faints at the sight of a pretty woman; French
foreign-exchange student Suzanne (Mijanou Bardot, Brigitte's less than
beautiful kid sister) being romantically obsessed over
the gangster called Legs Raffertino, in the hopes of
using him to do scientific research; obnoxious oil-man
Wildcat MacPherson (Jackie Coogan) doing a grating
45-minute imitation of W. C. Fields; Dr. West
psychoanalyzing Thinko; horny science teacher Watts
(John Carradine) doing the tango and the Charleston with Dr.
singer Conway Twitty leading a jazz combo; and the chimpanzee Abraham Q.
Voltaire performing unauthorized antics during a
The director's whims are thrown against the wall to get comedy, and the result is a sub-par film.
REVIEWED ON 6/23/2013 GRADE: C-
Dennis Schwartz: "Ozus' World Movie Reviews"
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED DENNIS SCHWARTZ