|GUNS (director/writer: Andy Sidaris; cinematographer: Howard Wexler; editor: Michael Haight; music: Richard Lyons; cast: Erik Estrada (Jack of Diamonds), Dona Speir (Donna Hamilton), Michael Shayne (Shane Abilene), Kym Malin (Kym), Liv Lindeland (Ace), Donna Spangler (Hugs Higgins), Chuck McCann (Abe), Allegra Curtis (Robyn), Chu Chu Malave (Cubby), Roberta Vasquez (Nicole Justin), Devin DeVasquez (Cash), Cynthia Brimhall (Edy Stark), Bruce Penhall (Bruce Christian), William Bumiller (Lucas), George Kee Cheung (Sifu), Phyllis Davis (Kathryn Hamilton), Danny Trejo (Tong); Runtime: 95; MPAA Rating: R; producer: Arlene Sidaris; Sony Home Entertainment; 1990)|
|"To admit liking such trash says
a lot about yourself."
by Dennis Schwartz
Sidaris ("Fit to Kill"/"Do or Die"/"Picasso
Trigger") directs/writes an action pic for those
who are admirers of boobs, lame one-liners, plenty of
explosions and lots of characters to clutter the
screen with idiotic talk.
Estrada is a European arms dealer, smuggling weapons
from China to South America and into America by
way of Hawaii. He partners with underling Tong (Danny
Trejo). The international crime lord lures the feds to
Las Vegas to investigate a gruesome murder, while he
gets things moving in his smuggling operation in
Hawaii. Pursuing him are part-time federal secret
agents, all of whom are busty chicks. I think you can
see where we are going with this brain-dead sex and
spy movie. At least six of the secret agents are
Playboy playmates. If that wasn't enough to wet one's
cheesy appetite, there's one scene of nude oil
wrestling and another of a playmate agent getting
banged atop a motorcycle. For something more freaky,
we can observe bumbling transvestite hit-men in
Chu Chu Malave has a minor role that's no
knock-out. Tony Curtis' daughter Allegra might not
have much of a role, but she has a great first name
and a recognizable last name. Honors to
best supporting actor must go to Chuck McCann's
delightful hammy performance as a homicidal magician.
The criteria for best acting, however, favors which of
the ladies turns you on the most.
admit liking such trash says a lot about yourself.
REVIEWED ON 4/13/2015 GRADE: C+
Dennis Schwartz: "Ozus' World Movie Reviews"
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED DENNIS SCHWARTZ